The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Dr. Bouncy says that if the progression of cancer is not stopped, I will be wheelchair bound within a month and dead within six months.  If my hips break, I'm thinking that six months is a pretty generous and unrealistic goal.

He has nothing else left to throw at it.  The more likely therapies have not done very much for me, and now the cancer is racing ahead like a bullet train.  So it's the nasty chemo cocktail, and a very slim chance that it will even touch the mets in the bones, which are what is torturing me and what is killing me.

So not good news.

As they say, 'Too Much To Do, Not Enough Time To Do It In.'

We can only hope.  And take advantage of the time we have as much as we can.

And prepare.


krex said...

I think it's very brave of you to put into words what no one else wants to talk about . Although it is painful for me to read, it's also important that people can see that medical community still has a long way to go in finding the causes and better treatments for this monster . Imagine a world were as much money is invested in finding ways to end all the suffering this disease brings to humans instead of finding new ways to build better weapons to kill people .

Sorry to wax political but I just can't help thinking that every dollar wasted in Iraq could have been spent keeping you in my life .

My email offers still holds, please let me know what I can do to help .

Nancy K. said...

I hope that however much time you have left, can be time that brings you laughter and lots and lots of love. And that the damn doctors are able to keep the pain from making you wish you had less time!

I can't begin to imagine what this must be like for you Eileen. I think I would be scared and really, REALLY pissed off! Why can't this kind of crap be delegated out to the bad guys? How about we use cancer as a crime deterrent? If you murder someone, you get cancer. At least that way, there would be a reason. Something to explain what caused it. Something to justify it. The fact that cancer strikes indiscriminately, taking wives, husbands mothers, children, friends ~ is just so unfair.

I know that you will make your time count. Please let me know if there is anything that I could do that would help you (as in bring you even a moment's pleasure) in any way.

I will pray that the doctors can keep you comfortable and that you get more (quality!) time than you think you will.

Anonymous said...

Dear Eileen, It crushes me to read your words tonight. I hate it that I cannot share a part of me that would comfort you, to be there and to hold your hand, to hug you and to make you giggle. I want to do anything to help you cope with the monstrous part of this disease. No one knows how long we will or will not be here, so I look forward to our becoming closer. I hope we will and that I will be able to offer some kind of nurturing that might help you through even one difficult moment. Thinking of you with love and big hugs, donna

Delighted Hands said...

I am sure awash in many detrimental emotion....anger, fear, pity, frustration...but none of them help. Or change anything. I would want to have the best 6 months I could and would set a goal to achieve that end. I am so glad you have family and friends to support you-they will treasure you.

Anonymous said...

Eileen, I don't have anything to say that can possibly help, but I'm so sorry to hear this.

Roberta said...

Well, sis...want to take a cruise with me? I'm thinking of skipping my chemo...how bout you?
Love you...

The Violet Hoarder said...

Krex, I'm with you.
Eileen, This is a fist to my heart. But it's your heart that wows me. If anyone can do what has to be done in the time that's left--it's you. I second everyone's fervent wish that you suffer as little pain and as much happiness as possible.

LD said...

I know you have lots of family and friends willing to help, but allow me to extend my family's support as well. If there's anything I, or we, can do to help in any way, please let us know.

At the very least, I'll be making sure the Son doesn't go to bits too badly. **weak laugh**

My thoughts and prayers are with you Eileen.

Polly Andersen said...

Dearest Eileen, it's said that death always comes too soon or too late, never "on time". I hope that your personality and humor gives you a smile in these difficult times, and I plan on doing what I can to encourage you. I'm stopping by with chicken soup next week, what day would be best? A good friend of mine from Bosnia - who lived through the recent war there - says that lifespan, no matter our age, is like a room that you enter from one side, walk across, and then exit on the other side. That's how quickly it passes. Treasure these moments, draw out your walk across the room as much as you can, enjoying Bren and Scot. Be honest with the idiots who want you to do this or that when you can't or don't want to, cry when you feel like it, laugh when you can. I'm sending big hugs through the internet.

mrspao said...

I am really honored to be your friend and cared for by you and I know that you will do your very best to enjoy your time with your friends and family as best you can. I know that you will make it a time where they will also enjoy you. I'm sending big big hugs to you and Scott and Bren. xx