Today my oncologist confidently stated that some day we would have to move on to chemotherapy. He was able to do that because we all know that at some point the symptoms/pain from the tumors will be bad enough that I'll wonder whether it's worse than the chemo would feel. I'll have to balance evil against evil, with no way of knowing which is worse. We all suspect that point is coming in the not too distant future.
In the end, the result will be the same. The bumps in the road might be affected by my choices, but the destination is assured.
Some day it won't matter what choice Roberta or I make. The Monster will have eaten everything it can, and we will escape down a path that The Monster and our loved ones will not be able to follow.
Until then, Roberta and I just do as we must do - or stop doing what we can no longer do. And endure it, because refusing to endure is not among the choices offered.
Another reminder, which I will probably be repeating for the next couple weeks. It is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Get your thermogram (or mammogram if that's your only option), do your self-check (yes, I do recommend it - I know too many women who found their cancer through self-check when their mammograms showed nothing), get your annual pap smear - or PSA test, if you are a guy. Make sure you are getting plenty of vitamin D via sunlight and/or D3, make sure you are getting enough iodine, get your hormone levels checked if you suspect they might be unbalanced.
But also - if you feel that something just isn't right with you lately, don't let yourself be put off just because initial tests don't show anything. I know it can be discouraging to deal with doctors who pooh-pooh you, but keep at it until you find the real cause of the problem. If I hadn't let myself be put off, we might have found my cancer a year earlier, and it might have been curable at that point. Trust yourself and your knowledge of your own body. Be your own fierce advocate.
You are worth it.