Update II

I am firing the clinic/doctors I've been 'working with' (ha), and going on to a new Team.

I couldn't get an appointment with the very popular oncologist until Feb. 10, which is rather late to be starting over (this is a very aggressive cancer), but I did manage to get an appointment with the new surgeon.

I was very impressed with her nurse, as was mom, and the doctor seemed nice enough. Better, she gave me lots of information. It wasn't all pleasant information; some of it was upsetting, and all the more disturbing because the oncologist I had been going to had completely neglected to mention much of it: the femur still had a spot of activity on it (which he had implied was not the case); the fibroid tumor in my ovary was growing and could burst the ovary and/or turn cancerous; my uterus is pre-cancerous; I should probably have a hysterectomy; and I have a large hernia which I probably will have to let go for a while because 'the cure is probably worse than the disease'.

Well, gee, you can see why the oncologist didn't feel that lowly old me needed to know any of these things. It's not as though I might be making any major decisions in the near future in which having this information might be useful...

Mom looked as though she'd been hit by a truck - I felt the same, but she says that I looked as though this was all old news. My face has never reflected accurately what is going on inside, and clearly it is not learning new tricks at this late date.

The good news is that the surgeon not only made an appointment with a gynecologist for the coming week, but also is having a plastic surgeon see me just before the mastectomy to mark guidelines on me (evidently larger ladies can end up with uncomfortable knots of tissue if the simple side-to-side seam is exclusively used - I will end up looking like Frankenstein's monster, but will hopefully be a bit more comfortable, which is a plus in my book). She also pulled some strings, and I will be seeing the oncologist in the coming week, as well.

So things are finally moving along, and I have hope that this team will prove more responsive and trustworthy than the last. Not The Best of All Possible Worlds (that would be the one where I wake up and find that the whole thing was just a bad dream), but at least I might feel like an individual again - at this point I am grateful for small blessings.


Glorious Hats said...

All right E! A very difficult step to take - to fire one's drs - yet sounds like a positive step; it is awful news and information you have to deal with, but as you note it it your body and you can only make the best choices for yourself if you have the entire picture presented along with the choices. So glad you did not wait longer; so glad the surgeon pushed/advocated for you and got apts with others.

You are indeed your own best friend and your mom is an amazing trooper.

And there is a whole platoon thinking, rooting for you and following; hoping our bits of care and belief you provide a cushion and buoy your strength.

A big sloppy cyper hug to you

More hugs,

Dawn said...

I am real glad you have made some progress in the doctor situation. While the news is not good, knowing what is what has to make it easier to understand and maybe deal with.

I wish I could send you some strength, and give you support. I can and have given you prayers and hope you can find some peace.

Dawn and the corgi team (who will come visit you if you need puupy love.)

mrspao said...

This sounds like a really positive step and I'm glad to hear that you have found someone who gives you the information you need to make the decisions you need to make.

Thinking of you!


Laughingrat said...

The new surgeon sounds like a godsend. I'm glad you're seeing the oncologist sooner, too. Good for you for dumping the first group. Everyone makes excuses for doctors, saying that they just get callous and overworked, blah blah blah, but part of being a doctor is that you're not allowed to do that, because someone else's life is hanging in the balance. [/rant] The news they gave you sounds really scary, but it's good that you have it. Sounds like they're taking it seriously, too.

How are you feeling, day to day? Do you have any changes in your energy level, or is everything "normal" right now because you haven't started chemo yet?

The Violet Hoarder said...

Good you tossed out those first doctors. Isn't the fact that the ovary isn't cancerous good news?
I see you're having surgey next Wednesday, I'll send high vibes.

You may want to see a Reiki practitioner beforehand to make sure your energy flow is optimal for good surgical outcomes. A few of my friends have done this and said they felt completely prepared for and optimistic about surgery.

Also, might be good to connect with a cancer support group ASAP--some good ones online or through TC hospitals. Important to be with folks who've had or are going through the same experiences you are.

You are on a warrior path now, one that you never would have chosen but one that will evolve your consciousness and stretch your limits. Never doubt you are up to it.

And, thank God for mothers, eh?

Don't think too much about the future, just be present right now. Just deal with what's immediately ahead of you. Get through the surgery and then think about the next step.

Picture all the well-wishers who are going to be in the operating room with you next Wednesday, and know that we won't let anything happen to you!