Yeah, Well...

The meeting with Dr. Bouncy was not particularly encouraging.

In fact, he admitted that we are running out of good options, and actually told me that he would understand if and when I decided I wanted to stop treatment and switch to hospice care.   His list of remaining options sounded fairly awful, and from his expression while listing them, I suspect they hold little hope and much worse side effects.

He asked for a hug, and got a little teary-eyed.

Needless to say, this was all very different from his usual optimistic 'never say die' attitude.  Not a good sign.

For the moment, he doesn't feel that a scan this soon would be a good idea.  He lowered the dosage on the Gemzar and raised the dosage on the steroids, hoping to balance lowering of side effects against lowering of potential effectiveness.  We will see how it goes.

In the meantime, he says that he will see if he can get me Capecitabine from the pharmaceutical company on a 'compassionate use' basis, since our insurance will not cover the prescription and the private cost would be nearly half of our already inadequate income.  It's the last of the 'less awful, potentially more effective' chemo options, so please cross your fingers or pray or send good thoughts (whichever seems best to you) in my direction, in hopes that he will be successful.


Delighted Hands said...

This day has been looming for quite a while........hoping the new meds exceed his expectations. (hug)

soren2go said...

Love and prayers for you and your family as you face tough decisions. Your doctor sounds like a very compassionate person who truly cares about his patients and their care.

Anonymous said...

It is not surprising, though not what I want to hear, that you are giving hugs of support to your teary-eyed oncologist. You are an amazing woman.

I am here thinking of you as always and sending you every good thought for options. I wish I were closer so we could spend time together laughing and talking about our two lives that now intersect in such a powerful yet painful way.

It is hard for me to read about what you are enduring, yet I think of you constantly. I want to support you and give you some of my energy LOL, soothe your pain with healing thoughts.

Love and gentle hugs,
donna peach

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. Fingers and toes crossed and all good karma directed at you.

The Violet Hoarder said...

Your doctor sounds great, options not so great. But I'm wafting good thoughts your way--hope you can get on that better drug free. And that the cosmos shows tremendous compassion toward you.

Nancy K. said...

I'm sorry to hear such bad news. Of course I'll keep up my prayers and ask that you be given the opportunity to try the Capecitabine. It seems so unfair to me that in this great land of freedom and 'all men are created equal', the level of medical care that one receives is directly related to one's finances. That just seems so wrong to me.

(said the woman who was talking with her daughter today about the possibility of putted a decent used car on my credit card, letting the house go to the bank and declaring bankruptcy when all of these medical bills come due...)

Sending you gentle hugs and heartfelt prayers.

mrspao said...

Hugs and prayers xxx